Healthy Crossdressing: Avoiding the Supreme Court of Femme

I love expressing my femme side. After spending my working life as a stereotypical man in the financial industry, it is great to let loose my femme side during my off-time and:

• read fashion mags,
• wear cute dresses, costumes, or my corset,
• practise my makeup, have fun trying to pass,
• cook in my frilly pink apron,
• read romance novels, and;
• chat to my femme friends over facebook, email, or other digital forms!

These activities usually provide me great enjoyment. However, sometimes being femme stops  being fun.  It generally occurs when I start using the femme activity to try to prove to myself that as a man I can still be femme.

I take on obsessive behaviours, including:

• Instead of casually dressing, and putting on makeup, I firmly concentrate on passing and bemoan the parts of me that are masculine.
• Instead of relaxing and reading, I become obsessed with the need to go out and prove myself as a woman in public.
• Instead of enjoying my femme chats, I wait anxiously for people to reply thinking that their attention will justify my femininity.

These obsessive behaviours are designed to convince myself that I am a full femme. But they don't work. No matter how much attention I get, I know that there will always be people who don't accept I am a full femme. What I want is some mythical "Supreme Court of Femme" to rule that I have femme status. But no such court exists, so I continue fighting a forlorn battle for everyone's acceptance that leaves me anxious, upset, and unfulfilled.

It is not healthy for me. From now on, I am going to monitor my dressing and be careful about how I express myself, in the hope of taking power away from my "Supreme Court of Femme" obsessions. This will hopefully leave me more wonderful femme time with less anxiety!